There is something about the Home Shopping Network that makes me feel like I’ve been missing things all my life.
I feel the need to have these things and buy these things after watching these hot messes demonstrate and talk about how wonderful these things are.
The Lids By Design, for example, is amazing.
In fact, the lady just said it’s like a push-up bra for the eyelid.
I want that.
They say this gets the hood.
I’m starting to get the hood.
I don’t have to pay thousands of dollars for surgery either.
I can just get this Lids By Design strip from HSN.
Oh and there’s only 10,527 left!
I’d better hurry.
And God bless the model that demonstrates the product.
She has to listen to how visually disturbing she is until the said product is applied. Then magically she gets to be loveable again… accepted by the human race.
Just when I thought it was over…Neck Rescue comes on.
There is a sticker for your neck.
It’s about time!
We can now leave the house again without making anyone want to vomit at the sight of our neck! Who knew this was such a disaster?!
Ohh, perfect for selfies. They’re so excited about this. I’m sure they would be excited about a rock…they found…in the driveway…and it changed their life.
Well, that’s over now, and these silver balls on a joystick are being touted as something I CAN’T SPEND ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT!
She says It pinches your skin…”Literally, it is pinching my skin.”
Why would I go another minute without getting my skin pinched?
They say it’s a HUGE stress reliever.
I’ll leave you with some of their favorite lines.
“I’ll be totally honest with you…”
“Oh, look at that ergonomical handle!” (I know that’s not a word.)
“It looks really cool too while you hold it!” (Pretty sure they have run out of things to say about the ball massager at this point.)
“It’s a wonderful experience…in the privacy of your own home.” (Mmmhmm)
“We only have two minutes left and WE…HAVE…TO…GO!”
“It’s free shipping…”
“If you don’t adore this product…”
“It’s a box of OZ…”
Well, I better go and get my credit card so I don’t miss out.