HSN Shopping…No Shower Necessary

There is something about the Home Shopping Network that makes me feel like I’ve been missing things all my life.

I feel the need to have these things and buy these things after watching these hot messes demonstrate and talk about how wonderful these things are.

Eyelid 1

She’s got the hood.

The Lids By Design, for example, is amazing.

In fact, the lady just said it’s like a push-up bra for the eyelid.

I want that.

They say this gets the hood.

I’m starting to get the hood.

I don’t have to pay thousands of dollars for surgery either.

I can just get this Lids By Design strip from HSN.

Oh and there’s only 10,527 left!

I’d better hurry.

Eyelid Pic2

“I’m…a monster…

And God bless the model that demonstrates the product.

She has to listen to how visually disturbing she is until the said product is applied. Then magically she gets to be loveable again… accepted by the human race.

Thank God!

Just when I thought it was over…Neck Rescue comes on.

Yes!

There is a sticker for your neck.

It’s about time!

Neck Rescue

That’s as tight as she gets.

We can now leave the house again without making anyone want to vomit at the sight of our neck! Who knew this was such a disaster?!

Ohh, perfect for selfies. They’re so excited about this. I’m sure they would be excited about a rock…they found…in the driveway…and it changed their life.

Neck Pic

The difference is astounding!

Well, that’s over now, and these silver balls on a joystick are being touted as something I CAN’T SPEND ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT!

She says It pinches your skin…”Literally, it is pinching my skin.”

 Why would I go another minute without getting my skin pinched? 

They say it’s a HUGE stress reliever.

I’ll leave you with some of their favorite lines.

“Deep satisfaction…”

“I’ll be totally honest with you…”

“Those balls!”

“Oh, look at that ergonomical handle!” (I know that’s not a word.)

“It looks really cool too while you hold it!” (Pretty sure they have run out of things to say about the ball massager at this point.)

“It’s a wonderful experience…in the privacy of your own home.” (Mmmhmm)

“We only have two minutes left and WE…HAVE…TO…GO!”

“It’s free shipping…”

“If you don’t adore this product…”

“It’s a box of OZ…”

Well, I better go and get my credit card so I don’t miss out.

Damn HSN!

About Amy Rafferty Slagle

I am a middle school teacher juggling career, husband (ooh la la), and twin tomboys (good grief). I have a passion for writing and crave laughter just about as much as frozen yogurt. This is my attempt at sharing the madness of my world, my mind, and my humor. View all posts by Amy Rafferty Slagle

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

carlynnsblog

general life and beauty blog

Kristen Lamb

Author, Blogger, Social Media Jedi

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Smart Discount Shop

Discover all the creative and ingenious ways to save money !

GODINTEREST - Christian magazine covering faith, culture and life

Godinterest is a place to talk about God, Culture, Life and all that other stuff

Eric Carlson (awolsurfer)

Building a Business While Still Having a Life...

playwithlifeorg

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this WordPress.com site

sammiestwins's Blog

My journey with my children.

Automattic

Making the web a better place

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

Doodlemum

a day in the life of my sketchbook...

kidlingville

the holy land...or something

Post it Notes from my Idiot Boss

delivered directly to my computer monitor on an all too regular basis...

Cold

The way revenge is best served; the way a war was fought; the way a story should be told. ©

Axel The Key

The Key To Excellence

%d bloggers like this: