The other day I was enjoying a movie at the theater with my mother. My time was being split between watching Bradley Cooper on the big screen and staring at /listening to my mother suck on the never-ending sucker. I actually had my own Tootsie Pop in my purse that I was waiting patiently to get out since I felt too silly having two of us sitting side by side sucking on suckers. It looks ridiculous enough-an adult eating a sucker-but two of us is where I draw the line.
We were in public after all.
That’s when I began to think of how weird it was to actually be surrounded by strangers eating and relaxing in a large room together…very close together watching a movie.
I started dissecting the whole movie theater experience (which I LOVE by-the-way) and how odd the whole situation really is.
Here is a short recap of my thoughts:
1. You leave the comfort of your house to go see a film that will soon be available for you to watch on your comfy sofa where you can do whatever you want (like eating our suckers at the same time) for a third of the cost and soon for free thanks to the wonders of patience and Netflix.
2. You wait in line only to be asked to pay a dollar amount that could have sent some of those mosquito nets to an entire village in Uganda.
Let’s see…end malaria or see a movie…sorry Sally–Sniper it is!
3. You go to yet another line and buy a five dollar box of Snow Caps that the Dollar Tree sells for, well, a dollar. You say yes to the combo deal with a commercial size bucket of popcorn smothered in orange “butter” along with the refillable drink they talked you into since, of course, it’s smarter to just drink an entire gallon since it’s a mere fifty cents more and has the guarantee that the only thing you will run out of is room in your bladder.
(I actually prefer to smuggle in all my snacks since I’m a professional at getting around the “fffssshhh” sound of my home-brought coke, the strategic placement of the litany of items in my oversized purse, and pouring liquor in the dark—I’m no dummy!)
4. Now comes seat selection. For the ultimate experience you want to get to the middle of the row in the middle of the theater making sure you aren’t too far back or too close. You certainly don’t want to be the time-challenged schmuck who has to take the walk of shame to that bad-mood inducing, bitch of a front row.
5. Finally, after silencing your phone, making sure your purse doesn’t touch the floor, and getting all of your snacks into a Jenga-like position perfect for grabbing in the dark, you are ready for the show.
Whew! It’s a lot of work, but so much fun and totally worth it!! How do you feel about the movie experience? Any funny stories to share?