“He Coulda Kept His Pants On”

The Celebrity Apprentice

So, this post is mostly about Geraldo Rivera (and something that you can’t “unsee” once you see it), but I must quickly give it a premise.

The Celebrity Apprentice is a reality TV show that is the spin-off of the original TV show The Apprentice where Donald Trump in all his weird hair glory donald-trump-hair invited people to participate in a competition (job interview of sorts) where the players would get fired one by one until the dire end when the last man standing would land a contract for $250,000 and the opportunity to run one of Donald’s companies.

In Celebrity Apprentice, however, the competitors are celebs who actually compete to win money for their favorite charity. The celebs vary from current, recognizable ones; to those that are a “blast from the past” (not so relevant anymore but at one time were); to those that are desperately trying to make their “fifteen minutes of fame” stretch like a yoga instructor doing the “wounded peacock” pose.

Enough said. For more info check it out here. The Celebrity Apprentice

So, back to what you came for, and if you saw it you already know where I am going. We (you and I) have seen something that just shouldn’t have happened. It seriously should’ve come with some sort of warning prior to its happening.

Most interesting man

Anyway, Geraldo has been somewhat of a source of tension among the men’s team because he believes he can do everything better than any of the morons trying to do the same thing. He’s annoying as hell and absolutely no one will tell him so because Donald Trump clearly has his back. Yikes.

One of the challenges for the team (now consisting of Lorenzo Lamas, Johnny Damon,Terrell Owens, Ian Ziering, and Sig Hansen–all manly men) was to create a four-page editorial fitness spread for Cosmopolitan magazine. Well, Geraldo Rivera (of course) came up with the idea to make the shoot about taking a great “selfie.” As you certainly must already know, he was responsible (so he claims) for starting the whole “selfie” phenomenon since he had a disgusting nude photo that went viral in 2013. (Yeah, that’s why people want to take “selfies.”)

geraldo pink sunglasses

I wonder if he credits himself for discovering that men can grow hair above their lips and call it a mustache? Hmmmm…

Anyway, The men (Ian and Johnny) decided to bring on some of their beautiful, in shape wives to do the photo shoot. Well, as Geraldo was bossing everyone around, he tells Johnny that his wife should do some sexy shots.

“Appreciate that, Captain Obvious.”

In fact, he wanted to demonstrate some of his ideas…with Johnny (as in– to act it out with him). Now, Johnny is a good sport, but someone really just should’ve said enough is enough. Here is a peek at what went down.geraldo hugs guy (best)

Yeah, that’s not uncomfortable.

Let’s fast forward to the day of the shoot shall we? It get’s weirder.

The shoot is in progress–hot guys–hot girls–it’s going really well. It’s good. It’s done.

Well heeeeeeerrrrrrrrrre comes Geraldo in nothing but some pink sunglasses, brown dress shoes, gray underwear, and some black ankle socks doing bicep curls with what looks to be one pound dumb bells. Umm hmm.

This is where Terrell Owens stated his famous words: “He coulda kept his pants on.”

he coulda kept his pants on

After Geraldo was “all pumped up” he took his own selfie.

Here’s the guys’ reactions.

Ian-Ziering and men-what is he doing

I’m imagining a conversation something along these lines…

Johnny Damon:  “I think I just threw up in my mouth.”

Lorenzo Lamas:  “If we let this happen, we’re gonna lose.”

Ian Ziering:  “Is any one as turned on as I am?”

Well, believe it or not, the team lost this challenge, and guess who got fired?

NOT Geraldo.

God bless reality TV.

Photo credit: NBC

About Amy Rafferty Slagle

I am a middle school teacher juggling career, husband (ooh la la), and twin tomboys (good grief). I have a passion for writing and crave laughter just about as much as frozen yogurt. This is my attempt at sharing the madness of my world, my mind, and my humor. View all posts by Amy Rafferty Slagle

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